Tom Lavery (tom_lavery) wrote,
Tom Lavery

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I don't even know what to think of this anymore

I think it is funny how I never use this journal anymore. Sometimes I think that if I did it would make me feel better because I am letting go of some feelings instead of bottling it all up. Up until recently, I never held back my feelings. I never kept them to myself. I'm not like that. Ever. When something is bothering me, you will know. As of late though, it just seems like everything is bothering me and I can't help it.

I hate to say it, and in no way am I trying to offend any of my friends, but I really can't rely on any of you guys. Whenever I want to hang out with someone or do something with someone, 78% of the time it doesn't follow through. It seems like the only really good friend that is always there for me would be my six-stringed instrument, upstairs in my room. As gay as that sounds, it pretty much is the truth. Everyone has their ups and downs, and i've certainly had alot of ups in the past. For the past 3 months I have been in a permanent down, and I can't fully explain why. It isn't that I know what it is and am just not telling you, but rather I am CLUELESS to what it is.

Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I never moved to this state. For better or for worse? Who the hell knows?
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